driving in new jersey, is nothing to fear, once you know these well known facts:

1.  everyone is f#!$ing crazy.

2.  if the traffic light turns green and you don’t start moving forward within 250 milliseconds….you will get honked at.

3.  if you are an ambi-turner, don’t even think about turning left. that’s something for people in the west.  learn what a “jug handle” is.

4.  if you see an emergency vehicle coming, don’t pull over or anything, just keep doing what you were doing, or else you’ll get passed by the people behind you.

5.  don’t worry about cars in the shoulder, or any accident for that matter.  they see you, just focus on getting to where you are going, and getting there in record time.

6.   the new jersey turn pike [njtp] has exits every ten miles.  not funny, just good to know.

7.  the  njtp has two sections. one for cars, and the other for cars and trucks.  don’t ever be a moron and take the one for both cars and trucks.  you’ll find yourself mega boxed between three giant trucks going less than the speed limit. ..while all of your car-comrades in the other section are going way over the speed limit.

8.  it’s ok to drive 20 miles over the speed limit. ..i still have not seen a cop, except for the accidents.

9.  no two streets are parallel or perpendicular… or straight.  if you’re new to the area get a gps…. else sit back and enjoy the ride…because you’ll be doing a lot of extra driving.

10. if you find your self in the right lane, be prepared to merge left.  the lane can end at any moment, without warning.  they don’t believe in lane ending  signs here.

11. anyone, will flip you off….anyone :(

i hope these tips will help your next new jersey driving experience.

actually i wasn’t really speaking of it… i was just thinking it.  i was thinking how with my shaved head i have to worry about stupid tan lines and such on my head.  i already have this weird one across my forehead from the helmet.  just in case any of my thousands of readers find this useful i have included a link to some useful bald cycling info.